March 16 Interview.....

Hey friends,

It's been a crazy Monday, but as usual, lately when it's been a rough one-I think about good times for the show on Tuesday evenings. I've begun to book interviews for the rest of March and April. Up to this point, I only have one spot left in each month until May. If you are a musician, poet, artist, want to find out what the vibe is all about please contact me at juxtaposeklp@gmail.com.

My show is sponsored by, www.paywhoyouwantonline.com, an online music distributor similar to that of Itunes, but focused primarily on the independent musician. It's been a fantastic relationship thus far. The PWYWO team has given me a lot of freedom to do my thing on the radio waves and I am grateful that I have a sponsor that supports exactly who I am and the direction I want to go.

The reason I returned to radio was to reconnect/continue with the relationships of those in our community that I had come to have through the love of music.

Tomorrow night will be an incredible validation of that.

More than a decade ago I moved to the KW area to attend UW, and honestly completely green on what being on my own in a city that I never knew before that point.

I got a part time job working in a group home which required me to take a bus downtown Kitchener for a transfer. Once in a while, I would wander downtown to see what was there and I stumbled upon Archtop Music on Ontario st. I thought, hmmm. Guitars covered every inch of that very small, dusty, glorious store. I inquired about lessons and there I met Cuneyt Yetkiner (pronounced June-eight). So I began lessons every Saturday after i worked overnight shifts. Carrying a gig bag on my bag, I travelled like that to work, then to lessons, then back home to pass right out. It turned out that Cuneyt was a fantastic teacher, and I was incredibly intimidated by his guitar playing. I have to say, he was patient, thorough and always had a smile that could inspire you in a million ways. Suffice to say, amazing teacher...horrible student. We had developed a friendship that always lead to adventures in the city, as he was also new to KW.

We would throw our guitars on our backs and jump the bus. My favourite memory....grocery shopping. But I'll tell that tale tomorrow night on the radio waves.

After a while, I started to feel the weight of working overnights, going to school full time and trying to make ends meet at that time. It came to be that I had to stop my lessons and for some reason I never did connect with Cuneyt to thank him.

And then, seriously almost ten years go by.

I was at work and a colleague had told me there was going to be a surprise performance at the Kinsmen Centre by a flamenco guitarist. My ears raised in interest and I asked who it was. Then he told me, " June something". I smiled from ear to ear, cleared my afternoon and went to the center to greet a friend I had not seen in a decade.

The collective " Oh My God!" exchanges and hugs, and then suddenly Cuneyt was performing for over a hundred people at our center. As expected, people were freaking out and standing back in awe as soon as the first note was struck. After the performance we exchanged our quick well wishes but I saw that he was being surrounded by people wanting to buy his cd or ask for an autograph. I love watching friends be treated like a rock star.

A few months go by and I return back to my radio gig. Again Cuneyt's name came back in conversations I would have about community leaders. And I decided enough time was wasted in not keeping in touch.

Tomorrow night you're going to hear one hell of a guitar player, and one of my first friends that made a mark on my life in this city. I am excited for you to join us.

Cuneyt is an inspiring, hard working and passionate leader in our community. His experiences get drawn out in every note he plays. And I am thankful, the cosmos was listening.

Until tomorrow night.

6pm-8pm

http://mini.soundfm.ca/listen.html

100.3fm in KW

Ch 946 on Rogers Digital

It is worth everything.

I have gotten into the absolute habit of hugging everyone I see lately. I've spent as much time at the radio station as I can lately, and I have come to this conclusion:

I am in love with being a radio host.

Last Tuesday night I was just playing a few tunes, having a good time, searching for music and flipping through my stacks. Down below at Maxwell house people were hanging out, playing foozieball. In the studio rooms next to me young students were learning how to become future bob dylans. Overhead lights turned off and the studio only lit by a nearby hanging lamp. I am playing the likes of Jill Scott, Shad K, LAL, Sarah Harmer, Jacob and lily, Controller. Controller.

A bunch of people hanging out in the chat room on the station website. People lovin' on me on Facebook chat. Friends texting me as far as Calgary sending warm wishes and sentiments of joy in hearing my voice from so far away.

I am elated in a tired, long day at work, gotta pay the bills, life stressing me out but I'm in a good vibe right now-kind of way.

Then DJ Raph pops in just to visit. You see, some may just tune in once in a while, but many of us listen to each other's shows and musical genres. We start shitting around about music we like growing up, and buying vinyl. A listener, one whom I didn't know previous to that night, called in to just share warm sentiments and camaraderie about loving KISH and I RHYME THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS! Raph and I are energized by all the people staying connected with us in that little room from all ends. We decided to reminisce about how he and I first met at the station and share the story on the mic.

This is how it is.

Both feeling sentimental, after the show we head uptown waterloo to Jane Bond. It's Bingo night.

I decided to have a couple of Aloha! Martini's and decompress from the day even more. Suddenly we find ourselves bumping into people we know around the city and for some reason all end up in this tiny arts bar with people playing bingo and sipping on pretty drinks. Bumping into people saying they hear I'm back on the radio, how things are going for us, what's happening next.

Raph and I are talkin life, the choices we make. What drives us to make decisions.

It's times like this that I wish I could have that soundtrack of life playing somewhere in the background.

As we're walking back to our cars, we look at each other as we often do when we both know what the other is thinking.

Music means the world to us. Getting on that mic, playing and spinning tunes. Conversing on what's good. Feeling like there are people out there that get you.

By god, that's worth everything and worth fighting for.

Warmth

Oh....i'm going to dig my way to the car. Safe driving my friends.

So the driveway kicked my ass.

Playlist to inspire shovelling the Driveway:

1. Back in Black-ACDC (Use Shovel to air guitar)
2. Let's Get Together-AL Green (Yes, it's ok to two-step and shuffle in the snow)
3. Sure Shot -Beastie Boys ( You actually feel cool shovelling)
4. Don't Be that Way-Benny Goodman ( I don't raise my fist to the sky as much with this)
5. Clean Up Woman-Betty Wright ( Self-explanatory)
6. One More Time-Daft Punk (Driveway is an awesome dance floor)
7. Lovely Day-Bill Withers ( Hi Sunshine)
8. Hasn't Hit Me Yet-Blue Rodeo (This should be the National Song for winter nights)
9. Do It Fluid-The Blackbyrds (oh man, if you love funk...)
10. Dirty Water-K-OS with Sam Roberts (To keep you warm)
11. Bring it on home to me- Sam Cooke (This is when you get to the end of the driveway and the bloody City trucks come by, push more snow on your freshly cleared work of art)
12. I Can See Clearly Now- Jimmy Buffet (Ain't no use getting angry at the snow, y'all know you're just going to have to shovel again in a few hours anyway)
13. Bust a Move-Young MC ( This is for your neighbour that comes out after you are done shovelling, only to pull out their snow blower to do their own driveway. You know they waited until you were done. Boo hiss. DAnCE OFf!)

I'm held up in bed on a Friday night. I've pushed my body enough this week. I've been struggling with sleep, loss of appetite, migraines. Sounds like a salad of loveliness. Actually it's been humbling. Today I forced myself to take care of my body because no matter how much damage I do to it, it won't take away the tasks I need to do.

The world is a horrible place if I don't sleep well, eat healthy, rest my thoughts and alleviate the stress. I apologize to my friends that have been calling this week and I haven't responded. I'm your girl always. I had to focus on my head space a lot this week. Deadlines and just job stuff are pushing me, but no different than anybody else that has business to handle. I was not a nice person this week. Grumpy, crunchy and downright jack ass like. I took it out a lot on my driveway and the shovel. Not saying much about the snow, we've been spoiled up to this point, so I accept this transaction of dumpage.

Today though I popped my friend J's self titled album in the car whilst I battled the snowy, slippery roads. Two things strike me: 1. There's nothing like a good roots reggae vibe to ease the tension when driving in a storm 2. Hearing a friend's voice sing to me to ease my mind beats spending hundreds of dollars in therapy session on coping mechanisms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anSUVqBSsPg&feature=channel

Granted, winter nights are beautiful. Especially the quiet after a storm. The stillness is inspiring. I have no shame in feeling a little smugness when I sit on my couch by the window wrapped in a blanket sipping on tea and watching others shovel. Priding on my own lovely cleared lot. Slowly but surely, becoming a homeowner has sucked me into doing funny things. Like growling at my window. Weirdo.

This weekend, I'm going into work to ease my deadlines. Despite popular belief, I'm not a workaholic. I am not a denial-a-holic either.

Tomorrow's playlist- Songs that require you to drop your pants.

Easy.

KLP

Sidelines...

There are days after I come home from a long day, where I feel a quiet sense of being overwhelmed. Nothing really gives way visibly that I feel a sort of strain. I can attribute that skill to my job in social services. Even if there is pure chaos around you, be the voice of reason. Play it cool, even if you are about to lose your mind. Granted there are days where it is completely obvious that I am clearly not dealing or coping well. That's alright by me too. It happens. Human.
Life has changed quite a bit in the last few months. I took a degree of time to remove myself from the patterns in which I behaved. I started to feel like I was losing a bit of grip and so I needed to get myself back.

I am very dedicated to my job, I respect the people I work with a great deal. I work with many that I consider to be inspiring everyday people. The work is continuous, challenging, intense and thankless. The latter I use loosely. Overall being in social services is a thankless position. Where being pulled in different directions, multi-tasking with at least four arms and being expected to perform miracles is the norm. Feeling any sense of gratitude for a job well done has to be felt within oneself in this kind of field. You have to feel self worth to feel successful, otherwise it's just a train wreck of bullshit. Ain't no glamour in reality honey. I have a University degree and I still plunge toilets as part of my job duties. Love is Humbling that way. And yet I adore it all. Running with the schedule that I do, I really have to develop skills in understanding my stress levels and recognizing my limits.

In previous years being involved in community radio, organizing or hosting shows, writing for people, networking...it all became a beast that I could no longer handle. Six years ago, I never anticipated or expected my radio program to become the subtle success that it was. More and more people wanted to work with me, I was being invited to be part of many projects,asked by many artists to manage them. With my blogging, I put pressures on myself to write more and more-put a book together, write a manuscript, perhaps write a play based on my journals. The demand and interest was there and suddenly I felt like I had to comply to put more of my life out there.

From the outside, all of this actually seems truly exciting. Within my own mind, surrounded by so many people I felt more and more like I no longer had control of my choices. Looking back, it was pathetic to realize how much pressure I put on myself to be so available to people at the expense of my family, my own personal health and spirit. And honestly, my help or love was never going to be enough for some people. It still won't, and I'm more than ok with that. I've got more than enough for what matters. I learned that one the hard way. Damn you LIFE. LOL.

And yet I have no regrets, I took the time I needed (almost two years) to focus on my spirit. I got my health back in order, bought a new car that looks like a milk truck, left the downtown and bought a home surrounded by more trees, so that I could help bring some peace to a treasured family member and of course myself.

A few months ago I came to realize I missed the original reason on why I became a radio host and blog writer in the first place.

Connection.


After a lot of love and encouragement from some amazing and talented peers, I kicked my ass to return to the microphone. At first not on the radio, but on stage as a spoken word artist. I like to tell a good story here and there ;0.

Just recently a few friends and I performed in a poetry/song/drum show. It was exciting to be part of something that was in fact sold out and had people standing in the aisles. All to hear a few pretty words, strumming and beat-loving.

I remember when I first walked out onto stage, I felt like I was going to throw up. LoL. Sure that's normal for many. I wasn't afraid of the stage really. It was my worry for my words and what if no one really gets anything from what I have to say.
But it was the sound of people yelling out, stomping their feet, calling out our names, clapping their hands...and my fear was laid to rest.

I do have some relevancy. LoL.


There was admittance in my words of feeling lonely, rejected, violated, loved, embraced and empowered. A very vulnerable moment in time. And I loved feeling the connection. I saw my peers on the sideline of the stage all smiling, nodding , hoping for me to push it out.

I can't tell you how invigorating it feels to see parts of you in someone else's eyes. You feel like you can take on the world in that moment.

So, it is with that sentiment that I return back to radio. SoundFM is in a time of true need.There are people that are a part of that radio station that strengthened the voice in me. Times will always be tough, but it is the fight that I thrive for.
Many loved ones were weary of my returning back to broadcasting, jumping on the stage to share words, along with my career and family needs.

I have to be honest, my days are long. But it's different now and y'all know I can't stay quiet too long.
I've got control of how this songs plays out now honey.

I received these words the other night:


" I was so inspired by your spoken word/poetry reading that I started a poetry/thought journal with the goal that someday I'd like share some of the work out loud. And today I signed up for my first spoken word event!" Roselle





One story at a time. We're going to find each other.